Eu fac dus (Sounds like "Yo fack douche", but sadly only means that I take a shower)

Saturday night was the 4th of July celebration that the US Embassy put on at a “country club golf course”. All the trainees in my village and myself pilled on a private minibus that took us to the capital. When we got into Chisinau, the driver turned to us, all of whom barely speak the language and don’t know where the hell we were, and asked us where to go. We told him it was at a golf course, but that one blew his mind, because come to find out, there is no such thing as golf in Moldova (oddly enough though there is a golf store in Mall-dova, go figure). We finally made it at five o’clock when we were supposed to be there at four, right on time for Moldovan standards. Maybe it’s just me, but when I think country club, I picture a nice reception hall with a terrace overlooking a lush, green golf course, not a shabby, run down, four holed putt-putt pasture. They featured American food- hot dogs, hamburgers, and chicken, but you know there was a Moldovan in charge because the only condiment you could find was mayonnaise, and lots of it. One similarity between America and Moldova is that when you have an open bar, people don’t beat around the bush. Let’s just say that there were some pretty awkward moments throughout the night. All in all, it was a fun event. Michael Jackson blared from the loud speakers and everyone boogied down to pay their respects to the King. The bus drivers must have been happy because I’m still hearing stories from volunteers about how they accidently forgot their cell phones and/or cameras on the bus.

The next day PC officially started letting us travel on our own. I made it successfully to Chisinau with Vince to play on the PC baseball team. After getting slightly lost, we found our way to headquarters, pilled into a minibus and went to a village about 30 minutes away. The PC team had jerseys and equipment and I must say, we looked pretty legit., up until we watched the Moldovan team start to warm up for the game. It was quite evident that our team was going to loose, because the other team was full of Russian thugs that practice several times a week. We started off the game doing surprising well and I scored the first run for us. Even in the 3rd inning we were tied at 3-3. Due to a fairly biased Moldovan umpire, and our complete lack of talent and practice, we lost the game pretty bad in the end. You could just tell from the smirks on the other teams’ faces that they were gloating about the fact that they beat the Americans at their own sport. I’m still really glad I was able to get out of my village, and was it a complete mind-blowing experience to play baseball out in the middle-of-nowhere Eastern Europe.

It was a busy week, with only a busier week ahead. I found out where I will be going for the next two years of my life, and I leave tomorrow to spend Sunday and Monday with my new host family and partner. I expect this visit to be just as awkward as when I first moved in with my PST host family, so I’ve got that to look forward to. We were supposed to call our partners and tell them what time we will be coming into our sites on Sunday; this call was supposed to test our language skills that we should have acquired over the last month. I’m pretty sure I failed miserably, because both times I tried calling my host partner hung up on me.

Let’s see, what else has been happening lately? I asked my host mother if I could help prepare dinner. I was handed a large chopping knife and was pretty sure I was going to have to painfully chop the giant bowl of onions that were on the counter. I couldn’t have been more wrong. No, instead I was instructed to go outside, find the biggest duck in the yard, kill it, pluck it, and bring it back to her. Lets just say that is a lot easier said than done…

I quite possibly am now engaged to a Moldovan girl that works at the Internet/phone store. Once I found out that I would be living in a raion center (like a parish/county seat) with 8,000 people in it I decided to purchase the internet. Jesus Christ what a chore. I brought my neighbor to help me out, but he knows very limited English. After an hour I realized we were in a gridlock. The elder store lady didn’t want to sell me an internet contract because I’m an American, and I don’t have a visa. Okay easy enough I thought, I would simply pay the entire year out then and there. Well that would have worked, but I would have had to pay an extra hundred dollars, and I think this was an under-the-table “fee”. I told her that I wasn’t going to pay that extra amount just because I’m American, and was then asked if I am married. “No your not? Well my shop assistant here isn’t married either, her name is Anna”. This is right about where things started to get weird. Most of the conversation was lost in translation, and before I knew it my neighbor volunteered my last name, and the lady wouldn’t stop saying “Anna Collins, da?” The girl was even into it because she grabbed my phone, put her number in it, called her phone, and then they sold me the internet, without the extra fee. She even signed the contract in her name. I’m still flabbergasted by this turn of events.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon picking onions out of the ground and drinking wine. There’s nothing like getting hammered and working the land with your fellow comrades to make you feel connected to Moldova. Today was a little rough in language class, and now my internet is really crapping out on me; I guess Anna the internet girl is screwing with me since I won’t answer any of her phone calls. I’m pretty nervous about my trip tomorrow to my new site, and was really looking for a little American companionship via Skype to help settle my nerves a bit, but I guess this will have to be done the old fashioned PC way, a little mental pep-talk.